gambling addiction ,
gambling problem ,
online poker We read an article on www.suntimes.com, and we think that could help someone with gambling problems.
DEAR ELLIE: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for several months and am greatly concerned about his gambling. Whether he’s online or at the casino, gambling consumes his time.
If I call him, he doesn’t answer because he’s playing poker. Or if he neglects to call me, it’s because he’s playing poker and has forgotten all about contacting me. Even if I go over to visit his house, he is playing online poker for money.
He’s disappointed and angry that he doesn’t have the money to buy things and do things. He feels money would solve all his problems, so he tries to win more money. He gambles almost every day! I tell him he should save the money he’s gambling away, since he’s not winning. But worse, he’s talking of becoming a professional gambler.
TROUBLED
DEAR TROUBLED: It’s too early in this relationship for you to accept his problems as your own. He has a gambling addiction, and it’s fueled by a whopping fantasy of changing his life overnight with the ever-elusive Big Win. Even in that unlikely event, you have seen that he’d only gamble it away.
The proof — and the likely source of his problem — lies in his anger. It prevents him from trying to achieve success through the normal, responsible routes of work, upgrading skills and setting realistic goals. He is already letting you down through neglect and anxieties at this beginning stage, when he should be trying hardest to woo you. The best you can do to show you care about him is to insist he join Gamblers’ Anonymous to find a support network and professional help to curb his obsession.
Meantime, I advise you to end the relationship, or at least take a break, since you can’t depend on him for companionship and can’t count on his pipe dreams for the future. Explain that unless he recognizes and confronts his gambling problem, there’s nothing to hold you two together.